Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
