I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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