You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
