Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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