So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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