I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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