kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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