East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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