This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
