apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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