i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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