Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize