my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
