Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
