why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
