You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
