were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
