dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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