I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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