I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
