K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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