He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
