the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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