what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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