he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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