Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
