Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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