My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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