I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I love you. Go after that dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
