you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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