So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
