Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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