we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
