I just gift wrapped bread.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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