Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
