no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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