Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
