I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
