I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
