similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
