so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize