just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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