Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
