she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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