Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
