I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's like iHOP with fire
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize