I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
