Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
