My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
