your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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