puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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