There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
