Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
