We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
