Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
