We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize