he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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