It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
