Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
