I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
