Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
